The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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