he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
