I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
