Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
