Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
