For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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