6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
