i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
