I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
