I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
