she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
