did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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