Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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