i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Two words: blizzard sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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