I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
