Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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