He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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