I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
