if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
