allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
