So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
