I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
