Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
