I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
