you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
