I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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