I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How external is "for external use only"?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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