He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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