Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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