One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
