So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
