Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
