After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
