Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
