Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
