Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
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