i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
