so let's talk penis.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
