And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
