I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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