Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
