So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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