My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
