so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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