come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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