I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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