Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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