I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
