mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
my poor anus
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
