plz talk dirty to me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
