So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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