I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
