If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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