u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
